Royal Wedding Countdown: Knit Your Own!

WeirdoWatcher Lisa R. was browsing the shelves of her local library when she found this little gem:

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It has Yorkies!  And hats for everyone!  Can you imagine actually knitting this?  Can you believe her local library purchased it and got it out on the shelves so fast?  My favorite part?  The engagement announcement figures:

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Check out the little ring!

Royal Wedding Countdown: Your ticket into the festivities

It's only NINE days till Prince William marries Kate Middleton, so book your flight now.  I have figured out a way for you to slip into Westminster Abbey and attend the royal wedding in person!  Just slip on this clever mask!

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You're the Queen!  You'll waltz right in.  Might want to do something about the eyes though.  They're a bit freaky.  Okay, a lot freaky.  Freaky like this music video I can't believe anyone ever thought was a good idea:
(keep watching till at least 45 seconds in, then you can skip to 3:25 for the full creepiness)

Seriously, why isn't she running from the crazy eyed people?  

Weirdos.

You caught me.

I'm a fan of the United Kingdom.  And they're about to have a big event.  Their biggest social event since the early eighties.  If you've been living under a rock, Prince William is marrying his long-time girlfriend, Kate Middleton, on April 29th.  They're having a national holiday, and enthusiasts are planning parties, even block parties, to celebrate.  Some people are more lackadaisical about it, but they're just party poopers.  I've been trolling for fun mementos for the party I hope to host.  I'm not a royalist; I just think it's fun.  One can carry it a bit too far...but it would be so funny to have a life-size cardboard cut-out of the couple at the party!  Right? right?  Are you judging me?

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Maybe I'll just have to settle for the paper dolls. 

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The big day is only a month away now.  I'm sure we can find more awesomeness  ;)

They're taking over the world

First talking deer, now frogs.  Well, I guess the deer just sang and it was only the one song.  Freddie the Frog takes things to a whole new level.

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Freddie can be hooked up to any sound source and will move his mouth and body to match the music/voice.  Imagine the conversation starter at parties!  Hook it up to your iPod and show your guests how really hip you are.  You could even "watch your children's eyes light up as Freddie tells them a bedtime story, or roll around laughing as dad's voice comes billowing from Freddie Frog's mouth as you take a phone call from home."

Whoa, whoa, step back there a minute, Freddie.  You want to imitate dad's voice?  Nay, become the vicarious father-figure in the home? What's next in this plan for stuffed animal domination?  A moose to replace mommy?  A Lion to replace the President?  All controlled by iTunes? 

Talking mounted deer

I think we've all accepted that some people think that singing mounted fish are funny.  But what about singing deer?  Aren't you afraid that someone might reprogram it to sing something other than the apparently appropriate "Sweet Home Alabama"?

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The product description is quite helpful:  "A great conversation starter, our singing reindeer will entertain your friends and family [are you really that desperate?]!  Hang him in your downstairs toilet [why only downstairs?  Is Buck afraid of heights?], hallway, living room or log cabin for an instant Lynyrd Skynryd hit.  Choose motion activated or push button play functions and sing along to this classic hit!"

I think you should put Buck in the bathroom.  Facing the toilet.  And make it motion activated.  It will keep the line to the bathroom short.

Or you could just wear a bag on your head.

For centuries people have been finding clever ways of disguising themselves. Whether they're on the lam, robbing a liquor store, dressing up for halloween, or at Paris Fashion Week apparently.

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German designer Karl Lagerfeld, who sent this handbag down the runway, is said to be a genius and living legend. Most legends wear masks and superhero tights, but a well made and expensive handbag will help you stay in high fashion if you must remain incognito.

For those of us with less expensive taste for disguise and dramatic flair, these 'stache pencils will keep your co-workers guessing when lunches and deserts continue to go missing from the break-room fridge as the Mustached Office Meal Bandit strikes again.

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I know if I were going to do any thieving or double crossing, a mustache would be the way to go. And since fall fashions are just now sneaking in to stores, a nice warm ski-mask/hoody top is the perfect way to bundle up next time you are going out on the town...you know, to rob a bank or something.

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With so many disguise options, it's a wonder everyone doesn't have an alter ego. Or maybe they do and I just haven't caught on yet...

Just FYI Weirdos Watchers, this is Keri here. I'm Susan's sister and I'll be doing the blog updates for a few days while Susan packs up and moves about half way around the world. Hope you all don't mind!

Freedom Fighting

"Men, we're going to take this hill.  I don't care if we're eaten alive by the enemy.  We're going to get back alive even if covered with fuzz from someone's pocket.  Saddle up!"

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"Sarg!  I don't think I'm gonna make it!"

"Don't worry, soldier.  I'm calling in air support."

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Thanks Juli!  Happy Fourth ;)

Weird Combinations Week: The Duck

I pity the fool who does this B.A.

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Juli M, every celebrity needs a celebrity duck.  When will they be making yours?  ;)

Real Handsoap

In this bag, is handsoap.

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Ha, ha, you thought I meant handsoap as in soap for your hands.  Well, I do, but I also mean something else. Look closely at that bag.  Wait.  Is that...

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Why, yes.  Yes it is.  Hand.  Soap.  You should always remember to wash your hands... er... I mean Your hands.  In fact, if you're having problems with all the noisy kids in your neighborhood, invite everyone over for a BBQ.  Then suggest--suggestion is key here, you don't want the parents getting suspicious--that the little ones wash their hands before they eat.  You might even volunteer to supervise, out of the goodness of your widdle heart.  When Cindy-Lou Who asks where the soap is, you give her a hand.  Bwahaha!  

Feeling Lonely?

You know, it's graduation season, and I know a lot of you are probably trying to find that perfect gift for your high school grad.  There are several ways to go: cash, set of suitcases, an old car inherited from three previous college siblings, even miniature appliances for their future dorm room.  But you know, none of that addresses a major concern of college students away from home:  loneliness.  For many this is their first time away from home.  So give them your love, your words of wisdom, and your lips.  To sing them to sleep at night.

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The lips sing-along with the tunes on the radio.  What would you like to hear your radio sing?

"If I only had a brain . . ."

Thanks to Hannah W. for this lip-smacking weirdness.

Elvis is aaAALLive

I think I know where all those Elvis rumours are coming from:  Animatronic Elvis.  You too can have decapitated Elvis on your desk.  Just wait for the day when "he" asks you a question:  "Have you seen my blue suede shoes?  I can't seem to find my feet."

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Not weirded out enough?  Check out this video of our favorite rock 'n roll star in action:

Note:  the disembodied hand that goes across the screen at one point is an effort to demo "alive" mode, where Elvis can follow objects moving in a room.  He's watching.  Always watching.