The Cat Lady

He sauntered down the aisle.  Walgreens was a step down from his usual haunts, but it would have to do; Leanne had driven.  Larry paused for a moment to investigate a display at the end of an aisle.  The hair on the back of his neck went up--someone was staring at him.  A tired-looking pregnant woman.  Whatever.  Leanne didn't need to activate plan B, the device held in her hand.  Everyone knows leashes are for dogs.
----
Yes, I saw a cat, with owner following, wandering through the drug store. At some point you have to ask yourself.  Who owns who?  Here's a clue, if you aren't just tempted by cat lampshades,

(source here)

but actually OWN one, you might want to think about a re-evaluation.  Unless you're trying to be immortalized by an action figure previously featured here on WhatWeirdos:

The Cat Lady.

(source here)

--------

Special thanks to Juli M. for the lampshade ;)

Again, yes, I really did see a cat in Walgreens today.  For reals.

Financial Disclosure

Today I read an article about a blogger whose readers sometimes berated her for putting ads on her site, like "how dare you make money off of our interest in your life".  Evidently only tabloids are supposed to benefit from views into private lives.

So I've decided to tell you how much money I've made.  So much that I need a special container to carry it all.  A snazzy coin purse.

(source here)

I love that I have to decide whether to put my money in the peanut butter side or the jelly side.  Another choice, for the veggie lovers among us: 

(source here)

Yes.  It's an eggplant.  It makes even less sense than the PB & J coin purse.  Eggplant?
Then again, what vegetable would make more sense?  

Mantyhose in real life

A few months back, I posted about a new fashion trend:  pantyhose for men, or mantyhose.  My main source was an online magazine which has completely devoted itself to promoting the new look.  All the men in it were paid models.  So I think people asked themselves:  do people actually wear these?  In real life?
Yes.
In my perusal of The New York Times Magazine, I happened upon this candid shot of an attendee at the Jean Paul Gaultier fashion show in Paris.  He's walking down the stairs, so if you were there (lucky you), you might have only seen him from the waist up at first, before he rounded the corner.

 (source for the image, which is in a slideshow you'll enjoy, here)

He looks normal, right?  Then he turns the corner, and you see him from the waist down:

Now I'll let you enjoy the entire Look in all its glory:

You know what really makes the outfit?  The knife holster.  I mean, he wanted to be clear that although he's wearing fishnet stockings and mini-shorts, he can still cut you.  

I spy with my little eye....

Look behind you.  Right......THERE!
No....RIGHT THERE!
THERE!
What?  Didn't you see it?  I totally did.  Because I found these nifty glasses that have mirrors on the inside, like rear-view mirrors on cars.

(source here)

My favorite part of this picture?  The newspaper's headline is 

"And then there were seven."

dun dun DUN!

If I ever saw someone actually wearing these, I don't know if I'd spend all my time trying to figure out what they were looking at, or whether I'd plop down behind them and confirm their worst fears:  that they're being followed.  

Bwahaha!

What your jewelry says about you

My wedding ring, in addition to a diamond, has sapphires on it.  What does that say about me?  I really like sapphires, and happily they happen to be my husband's birthstone.

What does this pewter ring tell us about its owner?

(source here)

I really miss the plague

I am so a 14th century kind of girl.

Rats are a girl's best friend.

Pewter, not silver, is the right material for rat sculptures.

My other ring is a cockroach.

P.S., this ring is a perfect gift for the family politician or car salesman. 

LifeGem

Ever wonder what your diamond is made of?

(source here)

"The LifeGem^® is...
• A certified, high-quality diamond created from a lock of hair or the cremated ashes of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life.
• A way to embrace your loved one's memory day by day.
• The most beautiful and timeless memorial available for honoring their unique life.
• Comfort and support when and where you need it.

...

Your very own LifeGem diamond(s) can be created from the carbon in cremation ashes, a lock of hair, or both. Of course, not only do we turn ashes into diamonds and hair into diamonds, we also have a full line of cremation jewelry, rings, and pendants to accent your beautiful LifeGem cremation diamond."

A diamond is forever, enough said.

This diamond commercial was brought to you by Heather T.

Do they come in dreadlocks?

What nice blonde hair this model has.

(source here)

Ha!  You thought she looks normal don't you?  Take a closer look at her ears.  Yep.  She's wearing hair rings:  "Bijules NYC hair rings made of dyed real human hair."  

(same source here)

Doesn't everyone want hair coming out their ears?  What's more, they cost a measly $286.  I think they should also come with rings for hairy knuckles.  Another look we're all wanting to sport. 

Weird Combinations Week: For the Swiss Army

After one commenter suggested the link between the mp3 player/taser and the iPod/breathalyzer, I decided to see what else you could do while rocking out.  The answer? You can:

Burrow out of stalag luft III to freedom in Switzerland:

(source here)

Become intimately acquainted with your new Ear-Nose-Throat Dr. as he tries to pull out the mp3 player stuck in your ear: 

(source here)

Hook your music into the iHoop.  About two seconds later the iHoop's speakers can be hooked up to a different iPod to play the funeral march for the first iVictim.

(source here)

And finally, you can show your true geek colors by buying an mp3 player made of legos:

(source here)

Act now, ThinkGeek is limiting the lego mp3 player to two per customer due to limited supplies.  I suggest you use your Swiss Army mp3  player to fend off competitors. 

Weird Combinations Week: The Breathalizer

First the prospect of accidentally tasering yourself while listening to your mp3 player, now a breathalizer that hooks into your iPod.  What ARE you people doing while rocking out?!

(source here)

Weird Combinations Week: The Taser

Sometimes when I'm walking down the street, people with headphones bump into me.  Or stand dreamily in the middle of the sidewalk.  Or they're in a car and don't see that the light is green, or worse, that it's red.  Then, when you say something, they are annoyed--at You. Well, be careful.  They may be armed.  

(source here and here)

The taser's "platinum package" holster contains an mp3 player.  Because we were all thinking:  the world would be a better place if music-listening zombie-like people were weaponized.

Thank you to Juli M. for sending this along!  And to Keri for helping me with the Taser site, which has blocked access to people in the UK; I guess I'm safe here. 

I can see your toes

For those of you who love the feel of sand between your toes but hate getting dirty.

(source here)

Okay, I know these are for rock-climbing, hiking, blah blah blah.  I would just really love to see someone wear them to a corporate meeting.  Or to Church.  Or in the White House.
By the way, this style is for men.  The women's sizes come in other colors.

Would you do this to your brain?

"This is your brain."

(Source here)

"This is your brain in a corset."

(Source here)

"Any questions?"

Yes.  So, so many questions.

Thank you to Steve A. for helping us understand how hard it really is to be a model.

*I know you want to know what it does.  It's supposed to train the wrinkles out of your face.  Imagine getting ready for bed, walking into the bedroom, saying goodnight to your honey...who screams in terror before realizing it's you...