Who am I?

This item... you've got to ask yourself:  who are markets envisioning when they sell this?

(source here)

"I am a freedom-loving, flag-waving, guitar-playing, eagle-loving, Harley-Davidson rider.  And I collect delicate porcelain display plates."

Lisa R., this has silver-plated accents and a "rich pearlescent finish" (what does that mean?).  SO glad you found it while supplies last.

I'm so Proud.

Sometimes, my dear readers, we come across a product (as Juli M. did) that truly represents America at its pinnacle of greatness.  An object that, when we see it, we cannot help but think:  I am in the United States.  Humming "My country tis of thee," I'm brought to tears when I look at it and think that in just three weeks, I'll be returning to my beloved home country after living abroad for three years.

(source here)

I weep for America.

Happy Fourth of July

I received a lot of great responses to my shout-out for help gathering Independence Day stuff.  First off, I thought you'd enjoy these lovely Fourth of July posters.  Each of these jewels has something special to say about what makes our country great.  I will translate the sentiment for you beneath each poster (yes, a few of them are from other holidays, but the designers thought their country of origin would be important, so I'm gonna honor that).

(source here)

"America:  where you will go to jail if you do this to a cat, even if you try to distract the police with your patriotism."

(source here)

"I was supposed to be the national bird, not that stupid bald vulture.  To eat me would be downright unamerican."

(source here)

"Hawaii is part of America."

(source here)

"The flag is on fire!  And Uncle Sam is prancing!  What kind of a poster is this?!"

(source here)

"Don't forget which country you owe your allegiance to.  Because the rest of us are a bit confused.

(source here)

"Stand by the flag.  Maybe that way no one will notice what you're standing on."

(source here)

"Happy Fourth. I hate you so much I'd like to greet you with a cannon ball."

(source here)

"Greetings.  If you don't show enough ardor for your country you will be burned alive in a patriotic cauldron."

(source here)

 "This is how Uncle Sam started that flag fire.  Beware if you're planning on inviting him to any barbecues."

(source here)

"I swear I'm a flag-waving, country-loving, bald-eagle-kissing Turkey.  Please don't eat me."

(source here)

"Maybe this will finally prove how much I love America."

(source here)

"Kiss me I'm American."

(source here)

"I, the bald eagle, am really starting to wonder whether this little boy is celebrating Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, the Fourth of July, or soliciting money on behalf of Save the Children."

Gosh, these posters make me so proud.  Happy Birthday America!

Hail to the Table

Sing it with me:

Hail to the Chief, he's the one we put on tables.
No, he's not a waiter, but President in Chief
And he's on a table that looks to be made of Maple
Our remotes have a place now, which brings great relief!

(sung to the tune of "Hail to the Chief".  If you can't remember the melody it goes: dun dun dun DUN dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.  I like to be helpful when I can)

(source here)

The P.R. people for this table say that it has "history making appeal".  Not that it is commemorating history, no, no, no.  The image of our dear President is so powerful that it will make history right there in your living room!  What should you put on top of it?  Your collection of yodelling pickles?  History making indeed.

Hail to Lisa R. for helping us be commemorative 'n stuff.

Don't look at me like that

So you're really glad to be rid of Bush then, eh? Are you this glad?

Whoa there, I know. A little much. So how about this then?

Alright! Alright! I know! Fine!

Can we at least agree on who the real enemy is then?

At least now we know the real reason why he's been hiding.

(http://www.theoriginalbowlbuddy.com/index.html)

Thanks to Juli for helping us keep our houses cleaner.