Hurray for Geeky weirdos

Today, dear weirdo watchers, it is my pleasure to present the funniest and weirdest usb devices I could find.
First, for hungry weirdos, we have a chicken leg:

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Still hungry?  Would you like a pizza?  Or a hamburger?

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Not hungry?  Do you like a little bling?

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The only problem with dressing up a USB drive as a gold brick is that it would run a higher risk of being stolen.

Better try this next one if you're afraid of theft.  It looks like a frayed cord sticking out of your laptop.

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Still concerned about theft?  Or hunger?  Or maybe that you'll be stranded on a desert island with only your USB drive?  I've got just what you need. 

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Ta da!  

A USB drive even MacGyver would love. 

Which is it?

This is a metal detector for people who think they are too cool to look like they are using a metal detector.

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The question is: Which is a less embarrassing image?  To look like you are so cheap you use a metal detector to look for change, or to look like you're a criminal on house arrest?

Thanks goes to Keri for this lovely bracelet.

They're taking over the world

First talking deer, now frogs.  Well, I guess the deer just sang and it was only the one song.  Freddie the Frog takes things to a whole new level.

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Freddie can be hooked up to any sound source and will move his mouth and body to match the music/voice.  Imagine the conversation starter at parties!  Hook it up to your iPod and show your guests how really hip you are.  You could even "watch your children's eyes light up as Freddie tells them a bedtime story, or roll around laughing as dad's voice comes billowing from Freddie Frog's mouth as you take a phone call from home."

Whoa, whoa, step back there a minute, Freddie.  You want to imitate dad's voice?  Nay, become the vicarious father-figure in the home? What's next in this plan for stuffed animal domination?  A moose to replace mommy?  A Lion to replace the President?  All controlled by iTunes? 

How big do you need it?

Yesterday I participated in the quest for the remote control.  It was a risky adventure, fraught with stale cheerios and fussy children who didn't want to watch the Disney Channel.  After completing the crusade to change to Arthur, I contemplated how nice it would be to have a remote that couldn't get lost.

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I wonder if this is what my kids feel like when they're holding the regular remote.  Like the land of the giants. 

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These things should come as three buttons: ctrl-alt-del.  For unwanted guests.  Bwa ha ha.  Totally killed with that one.  

The Rest Stop: Part II

After using the lovely facilities, we walked past the display case below the cash register.  What if someone bought every item?  What would they be like?

Behind the glass we have:  tobacco pipes. alarm clocks, camouflaged led flashlights, round kites (on the left--sorry for the camera phone quality), toe rings, and a 2 GB memory stick.  And that's not all that was in there. A little to the left of the kites were fish eggs, key chains, skull earrings, and a TracMe locator beacon.  In case such a person could ever EVER be lost.  Just in case the smoke from their pipe, camo light, kite, and the glint from their bling all fail.  

The Green Bullet

Have you ever read Ray Bradbury's novel, Fahrenheit 451? It's a monumental American novel about what would happen in a world of censorship - a world where people become complacent about learning and finding knowledge beyond their everyday, boring lives. Some of the characters in the book, instead of reading books, simply watch giant TVs and listen constantly to a "green bullet" that is jammed in their ears and incessantly squeals and runs advertisements and things. You can imagine my horror when I came across these.

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Are you as concerned as I am? (A pair of these are $250, by the way. How many culturally enriching books could you buy with that much money?)

Weird Combinations Week: For the Swiss Army

After one commenter suggested the link between the mp3 player/taser and the iPod/breathalyzer, I decided to see what else you could do while rocking out.  The answer? You can:

Burrow out of stalag luft III to freedom in Switzerland:

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Become intimately acquainted with your new Ear-Nose-Throat Dr. as he tries to pull out the mp3 player stuck in your ear: 

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Hook your music into the iHoop.  About two seconds later the iHoop's speakers can be hooked up to a different iPod to play the funeral march for the first iVictim.

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And finally, you can show your true geek colors by buying an mp3 player made of legos:

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Act now, ThinkGeek is limiting the lego mp3 player to two per customer due to limited supplies.  I suggest you use your Swiss Army mp3  player to fend off competitors. 

Tweets for the obsessed

Today, I'm going to let this product's own P.R. team speak to you directly.  Take it away Puppy Tweets people.

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"Puppy Tweets are the new Barks! Ever wonder what your pup is doing while you're away? Well, now you can get the 411 with text messages from Puppy Tweets! 

Whenever your dog moves, barks (or just naps), the tag knows it and sends a WiFi signal to your computer which then sends you a Tweet via Twitter. 

Simply set up a Twitter page for your dog and your Puppy Tweets tag starts generating Tweets. Puppy Tweets comes pre-loaded with over 500 phrases that put a humorous or insightful spin on your dog's daily activity. 

For example, a bark may generate a Tweet of: “I bark because I miss you. There I said it. Now hurry home.” A quick run through the house could produce: “I finally caught that tail I’ve been chasing and…OOUUUCHH!” Invite your friends and family to follow your pet on Twitter and help your dog follow his or her favorite puppy pals or celebrities. Puppy Twitter lets you connect with your pet over the Internet. It’s a great way to brighten your day ‘cause a Tweet from your pooch is a virtual smooch! "

Of course! Invite your friends to follow your puppy's twitter feed!  Let them join in the fun of witnessing the look on your face when you check Rover's tweets after an energetic face licking session and realize the tweet just preceding that one read "MMMmmm, nothing like the water from the toilet bowl to quench my thirst."

Feeling Lonely?

You know, it's graduation season, and I know a lot of you are probably trying to find that perfect gift for your high school grad.  There are several ways to go: cash, set of suitcases, an old car inherited from three previous college siblings, even miniature appliances for their future dorm room.  But you know, none of that addresses a major concern of college students away from home:  loneliness.  For many this is their first time away from home.  So give them your love, your words of wisdom, and your lips.  To sing them to sleep at night.

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The lips sing-along with the tunes on the radio.  What would you like to hear your radio sing?

"If I only had a brain . . ."

Thanks to Hannah W. for this lip-smacking weirdness.

Going Bananas

"Hello?  Jane Goodall?  I'd like to order a pizza."

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Where we do all our thinking. And so much more.

The number one area I receive the most email about is the potty.  Apparently you guys think about it a lot.  Or merchandizers do.  I think it has something to do with how much time we all spend there.  Well, here are a few things, to make the time just sail on by.

This first one is also a Public Service Announcement:  Please, please, please, PLEASE don't ever put my face on your toilet paper.  I beg of you.  I apologize for anything you may think I've done to you in the past.  Please.

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Moving along.  You'll need a place to put that picture of the girl who beat you up in 6th grade.  Maybe she's even visiting you and you want to make sure she feels "welcome".  Record a message for her!

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Too noisy for your quiet contemplation?  A few soulful tunes would be nice.

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Okay, I know some of you geeks are totally about to hit the "Secretly want it" button for this one.  Just do me a big favor guys.  Wash your hands BEFORE picking  your iPod back up.  Because later when you hand it to me to see the funny vid you just put on it... Man.  Now I'm going to start asking myself.  Where has this iPod been?

Of course, you'll definitely want a friend to share this whole experience with.  That's why you'll want the Toilet for Two:

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THIS IS REAL.  In fact, the minimum order is twelve.  TWELVE.  What would you say if you saw this at a friends house? 

"Can I use your...um... Please don't tell me you need to go too."

Thanks to Heather T. for the talking TP holder and Juli M. for the iPod accessory.  I hear every real geek has one.  

Bluetooth Retro Handset

Do you miss the good 'ole days when phones were ginormous and you could really feel them in your hand?  Not only that, but people could tell when you were on the phone.  Just hook this baby up to your phone!

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There are at least ten companies making these in different styles and colors.  No, I am not pulling your leg.  Would I ever do that to you?  Of course there's still that pesky cord.  Let's add bluetooth.  Everything's better with bluetooth right?  

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Or not.  Picture yourself walking down the street, happily talking on the phone.  Why are people giving you such strange looks?  The sidewalk sure is clear; all those slow people who get in the way are on the other side.  Awesome.  You should totally buy this.

Thank you so much to Juli M. for helping us all look like crazy people.