Announcement for the ignorant: Today is Super Bowl Sunday

(image source here)

*Note:  Oh. My. Gosh.  You would not believe how long ago I wrote this.  Seriously, I found these flower pots in June but then I realized it wasn't football season and decided to save them.  So here they are!!

For those of you who have been searching.  Searching. Far and wide, for the perfect Super Bowl floral arrangement, I say look no further.  I have the pots for you.

I totally understand why someone made these. I mean, who Hasn't worried about making the perfect floral arrangement for the big game?

(source here)

Strangely, the website says this product is no longer available.  Who buys NFL stuff out of season?  

Who buys NFL stuff at all?
Yes, I'm sure there's one of you.  Enjoy the flowers. And um, some game today.

Which is it?

This is a metal detector for people who think they are too cool to look like they are using a metal detector.

(source here)

The question is: Which is a less embarrassing image?  To look like you are so cheap you use a metal detector to look for change, or to look like you're a criminal on house arrest?

Thanks goes to Keri for this lovely bracelet.

Chicken Diapers

As I changed a very poopy diaper this evening I thought to myself:  there will come a time in my life when I will never have to do this again.  Some people just can't get enough of it.

(source here)

That is a picture of a chicken wearing a diaper.  So that it can live in the house.  And it is not a fluke, not some strange single person in the woods in Montana.  There's an entire company, Hen Savers, that makes these, um, garments, along with other interesting products.  

The diapers, called Hen Holsters, have a spot to attach a leash.  And washable liners.  Because although they are free-range, and have full access to the house, they're not free to, um, totally be themselves.  If you know what I mean.

Thanks Heather T.

What do you think the catch phrase for Hen Holster commercials should be?

Getting the mail

Picture yourself getting the mail.  Strolling down your driveway, breathing in the fresh air.  Mm.  Mm. Then you notice your neighbor's new mailbox.

(source here)

Um.  That is a manatee.  That's what that is.  Not a fat seal (er, I think they prefer obesity-challenged seal).  Manatees are actually believed to be the origin of the myth of mermaids, cause they like to bask in the sun and from a distance were mistaken for beautiful half-fish women by sailors .  Drunken sailors perhaps?  Perhaps blind sailors?  Or mad from the sun?  When people ask what is standing in your neighbor's yard, mysteriously holding a mailbox, you can tell them it's a mermaid.  If they question it you can tell them they must have bad eyesight and try to draw their attention to a more property-value increasing feature in your own yard.

At least the manatee is better than having this flamingo mailbox across the street. 

(source here)

Here's my question for you Weirdo Watchers: where do you put the mail?  

Yeah.  Exactly.  That's all I'm gonna say about that. 

Thanks to Juli M. for keeping our mail safe and secure. 

Talking mounted deer

I think we've all accepted that some people think that singing mounted fish are funny.  But what about singing deer?  Aren't you afraid that someone might reprogram it to sing something other than the apparently appropriate "Sweet Home Alabama"?

(Source here)

The product description is quite helpful:  "A great conversation starter, our singing reindeer will entertain your friends and family [are you really that desperate?]!  Hang him in your downstairs toilet [why only downstairs?  Is Buck afraid of heights?], hallway, living room or log cabin for an instant Lynyrd Skynryd hit.  Choose motion activated or push button play functions and sing along to this classic hit!"

I think you should put Buck in the bathroom.  Facing the toilet.  And make it motion activated.  It will keep the line to the bathroom short.

Welcome to every rest stop you've ever been to

Friends, I know you know what I'm talking about.  You are on a road trip.  You stop to use the potty.  And as you wait in the line, you marvel at the strange grouping of, um, things, that are for sale in the gas station.  I decided to snap a few pics for you (using Hannah's camera; thanks sis).  First up, the slippers.

(source:  a very nice gas station somewhere between Tacoma and Richland Washington)

Bandanna slippers, as Keri called them.  My husband said he would totally wear them.  Gag.  

Next, a little further along the line (which, incidentally, you can see in the far left of this shot.  Gotta love a good gas station line), I spotted this doll.

(um, same place, about two feet further on)

Is she sporting the Protector Hood?  Ha ha, no, she's wearing mosquito netting.  With her glasses on top.  What shall we name this dolly?  Gypsy Marge?  Freedom Fest Flo?  Lover of Freedom and all things bug-proof?  Hippy Hilda?  So many choices.  

Tomorrow I'll tell you about the display case on the way out.  How I love America.  

Wait, where did this soap come from?

When I think of soap, I think of cleanliness.  Breezy scents.  Bathtubs...  That kind of thing.  The makers of this "Uplifting Soap" with a citrus blend of essential oils and mandarin red, went another way.

(source here)

Um.  Okay.....

I can see your toes

For those of you who love the feel of sand between your toes but hate getting dirty.

(source here)

Okay, I know these are for rock-climbing, hiking, blah blah blah.  I would just really love to see someone wear them to a corporate meeting.  Or to Church.  Or in the White House.
By the way, this style is for men.  The women's sizes come in other colors.

You think YOU have problems

Fred and George eyed each other from across their yards. They'd been enemies since George first arrived in the neighborhood. It might have started because George didn't like the length of Fred's grass, or how the dog got out of George's yard and practically knocked Fred over. The worst part of the year was always baseball season. Fred was a dyed in the blue Yankees Fan, and George always sported a Red Sox cap.

If only the gardeners would move them closer together, they'd settle the feud once and for all.

(http://www.lakeside.com/MLB-Garden-Gnomes/details.asp?I=GDG&Ntt=gnome&N=36&Nao=0&R=803012012GDG4)