Royal Wedding Countdown: The intellectual post

Thomas Jefferson once declared that he could not live without books.  And considering the countless numbers of books about how to plan a wedding, attend a wedding, crash a wedding, and make your own knitted effigies of a royal wedding, weddings can't survive without books either.  We need a guidebook people.  And let's keep it simple, shall we?

(source here and here)

Over 60 celebration stickers!  Something to help keep you awake at 3am when the ceremony starts.  Well, 3am if you're in the U.S.  Yes, I realize many of you are in the UK.  Lucky you.  Stop gloating.  You don't want to turn pink like Little Miss Princess.  The show-off.  I bet that's not even a real invitation.  Who labels their invites like that anyway?

Look Away. Seriously. Look Away.

I love books.  I dream of having enough bookshelf space to have all my books out at the same time.  I never thought I'd advise anyone against opening a book, but I'm doing that today.  

(source here)

I've edited the pic for you.  Because they're standing behind a table with a corpse on it.  The book's title is Dissection:  Photographs of a Rite of Passage in American Medicine, 1880-1930.  Yick.

According to helpful Amazon, customers who bought Dissection also bought: 

Mutter Museum Historic Medical Photographs 

(cover picture:  two headed thing)

Deadly Intent:  Crime and Punishment Photographs from the Burns Archive 

(cover picture:  shelf of skulls)

Death Scenes: A Homicide Detective's Scrapbook 

(cover picture: as many grisly images as will fit on the cover)

Packing for Mars:  The Curious Science of Life in the Void

(cover picture: a space walking astronaut holding a suitcase)

Okay, I don't know why that last one is in there.  I guess even people who would buy a homicide detective's crime scene scrapbook like to dream about space travel.  Or that's their escape plan after their killing spree.  Either way, if you see any of these books on someone's shelf (except the Mars one; thinking of getting that myself), I'd try to excuse yourself from their home.  Better be clever about it cause you don't want to offend them. Seriously, don't make them angry.  Or resentful.  You never know what might happen.  If you think there's a chance of them being upset, best to buy them a gift.  Like the movie Apollo 13.  You know, cause they must like space.  Everyone likes space.  

Then move away.  To a galaxy far, far away.

Freudian....

Today is dedicated to Sigmund Freud.  Because German accents are funny... when English speakers try to imitate them.  Vat did you Vant me tu zay?

You ztart weeth ze akshon figure:

(Source here)

Zen you und me can shange for ze night on ze town:

(Source here)

I... Iz zat suppozed to be me?  You are tranzferring your childhood angst.  Are you nervous about zpending time wiz me? A leetle bit ztressed?

(Source here) 

You ver late to our leetle date.  Have you bin forgetting sings? Trwy righting sings down.  Let you soughts flow.

(Source here)

Just relax und let me observe you.  Sink about you are in your jammies, und slipperz.

(Source here)

Yez, yez, I sink I see ze problem, you are...euh, iz zat... Iz zat Carl Jung?  No!!!
[Sigmund runs away in fright]

(Source here)

This is your Sigmund Freud action figure's arch enemy, Carl Jung.  I've noticed that no action figure can be sold without another character to fight with.  I wonder what Freud would say.

I'm back!!!

Hi y'all!  It's Susan again.  Thanks to Keri for filling in while I moved our family to another continent.  She might fill in again but I thought I'd let you all know:  I'm bAAack!  And  I think in the spirit of moving we should all remember what holds us together as people:

(source here)

Tape.  And our spinal cord.  Together:  Spinal Tape.  Not to be confused with Spinal Tap.  What great things could use taping with this?

A belated thanks to Juli M. for finding this.  You know you're awesome, just wanted it spelled out here.

True Appreciation for Art

There's nothing like a beautiful piece of art work to really complete a room, right? There's nothing that says, "I have great taste, I'm classy, and I'm cultured" like a blow up Starry Night by Van Gogh.

(source here)

Or maybe you are more partial to DaVinci's work and would rather ponder the mysterious smile of the Mona Lisa.

(source here)

The great thing about this high-class pillow is that when you give her a squeeze, she lets out a peal of laughter (not creepy at all, right?) . She's been smirking at us for all these centuries. The only work of art more unnerving than a giggling pillow is Edvard Munch's "Scream".

(source here)

This lovely little number lets out a blood-curdling scream when hugged. How heart-warming! As the description on the retail sight says, this Screaming Scream is perfect for "a friend, a foe, or that special someone." So many options! What an awesome idea. I'm saving this gift idea for next Valentine's day.

Or you could just wear a bag on your head.

For centuries people have been finding clever ways of disguising themselves. Whether they're on the lam, robbing a liquor store, dressing up for halloween, or at Paris Fashion Week apparently.

(source here)

German designer Karl Lagerfeld, who sent this handbag down the runway, is said to be a genius and living legend. Most legends wear masks and superhero tights, but a well made and expensive handbag will help you stay in high fashion if you must remain incognito.

For those of us with less expensive taste for disguise and dramatic flair, these 'stache pencils will keep your co-workers guessing when lunches and deserts continue to go missing from the break-room fridge as the Mustached Office Meal Bandit strikes again.

(source here)

I know if I were going to do any thieving or double crossing, a mustache would be the way to go. And since fall fashions are just now sneaking in to stores, a nice warm ski-mask/hoody top is the perfect way to bundle up next time you are going out on the town...you know, to rob a bank or something.

(source here)

With so many disguise options, it's a wonder everyone doesn't have an alter ego. Or maybe they do and I just haven't caught on yet...

Just FYI Weirdos Watchers, this is Keri here. I'm Susan's sister and I'll be doing the blog updates for a few days while Susan packs up and moves about half way around the world. Hope you all don't mind!