In Kindness

People, we have missed celebrating a significant holiday here on What Weirdos.  Valentine's Day.  Now, let's be honest.  Some things require delicacy.  The annoying habits of a spouse usually need to be ignored.  But what about your spouse's co-workers?  Have mercy on them.  If your dearest has a problem, get help.
Get the GasBGon Flatulence Filter Seat Cushion; this is the exact image I copied from amazon.com, which I assume is a close-up:

(source here)

Well, yeah it's black.  What were you expecting?  A label that says "This seat cushion belongs to a majorly malodorous farter"?   It does come in other looks, like violins, or a checkerboard pattern, each with a sound dampener and an "activated carbon odor filter".   

Here's the thing, I'm not making fun of the product itself; I can't believe no one thought of it before.  I think it takes a pretty awesome weirdo to help tooters everywhere. A.K.A. all of us. 

A Letter to Airlines: Please Have Mercy Upon Us

Let me first say that as far as anyone knows, no airline has yet purchased this chair.  But Aviointeriors, the company which designed them, is trying to get takers.  I do not wish them luck.  Here is a promotional shot of the SkyRider seat:

(source here)

And here is a shot taken by a reporter:

(source here)

Notice the difference?  Yeah.  In the press release photo, the model is smirking in the front row, with no one in front of her.  They're not fooling anyone.  In the The New York Times' Getty Images photo, the people are where they would be in a plane.
In between the seats.  Seats that are only 23 inches apart.  

You're thinking this is a practical joke, aren't you?  You think I've been had.  Here are links to more news articles from reputable sources in case you think The New York Times and The Telegraph are usually wrong: 

Los Angeles Times

USA Today

CNN

NPR

ABC News

Reuters

I'm not going to keep listing more because this is getting boring.  I hope you don't actually click on all those links just to make sure I know what I'm talking about because if you do, Seriously?  You have that little faith in me?  

I guess beyond the absolute horror I feel just looking at this thing (and the horror I felt reading in the USA Today article that Ryanair is hoping to get approval to have a standing-only area on its planes), is the desire within me to figure out what their slogan should be.  Because you need a good slogan to sell this kind of thing.  Let's help them out. 

"SkyRider.  Because your flight isn't that long, and you haven't been taking good care of your knees anyway."

"Sardines have the good life."

"Claustrophobia is all in your head.  Good thing too, cause there's not much room for it anywhere else in this chair."

"SkyRider.  Because you should have checked why this seat was so cheap."

"SkyRider.  Because you lied to yourself when you bought the ticket."

"SkyRider.  Because some people really are this cheap."

"SkyRider.  Because your boss bought your ticket for you."

"SkyRider.  Because we might not be the only people who are delusional."

"SkyRider.  If you'll submit to a full body scan before even stepping on the plane, you'll submit to anything."

"SkyRider. This is why we do full body scans.  To make sure you'll fit."

Where to sit

This is the first year my kids will be in the states for actual Trick or Treating.  I'm really excited about it, and have been browsing for the perfect costumes.
This is not one of them.

(source here)

Are we trying to encourage people to sit on the baby?  Any babysitters out there?

Also, since I know you were thinking it, neither I nor my husband will be wearing the matching costume from Wal-Mart:

(source here)

Where to sit?

I've been yardsaling lately.  And painting.  Having lived in rentals for so many years, and looking forward to several years more, I'm trying to find ways of personalizing the space.  Today I looked up ideas for chairs, and I thought you guys might like to get in on the fun.  After all, what's-her-face, one of the judges on Top Design, says that chairs are like jewelry for a room.  I'm sure she was thinking of these.

Did you ever have a mood ring when you were younger?  Well here's a Mood Chair.  It reacts to the colors and movement its sensors perceive.  Just try hiding from it.  Maybe you should nickname it Hal.

(source here and here)

This one's called the Sushi Chair.  I'm not sure why, because to me it looks like my sewing drawer threw up.  Or maybe it's a quilter who was punched by a knitter.  My sister knits.  And she is quite strong.  I wonder how many of these line her living room.

(source here)

Alternatively, she could have a chair like this one, a place to store the yarn before she remade it into a different creation.

(source here)

This next chair reminds me of cannibals who wear bones as necklaces.  Or the movie Labyrinth.  Or Toy Story.  If you mistreat the dolls they'll come to life and bite you when you sit on them.  

(source here)

Speaking of chairs that bite...

(source here)

Ha!  You thought I was going to say how awful the chair was.  No.  I'm sure the above, being made of plush stuffed animals, is quite soft.  I just wonder if people might get the wrong impression about your cleaning skills.

How big do you need it?

Yesterday I participated in the quest for the remote control.  It was a risky adventure, fraught with stale cheerios and fussy children who didn't want to watch the Disney Channel.  After completing the crusade to change to Arthur, I contemplated how nice it would be to have a remote that couldn't get lost.

(source here)

I wonder if this is what my kids feel like when they're holding the regular remote.  Like the land of the giants. 

(source here)

These things should come as three buttons: ctrl-alt-del.  For unwanted guests.  Bwa ha ha.  Totally killed with that one.  

Fun Friday: Weird stuff to Wish for

This week's Fun Friday post is dedicated to that memorable phrase Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.  Okay, okay, I had to look up the reduce part.  I knew it was something with three R's...something to do with recycling... Hey I do a lot to save the earth, ok?  Case in point:  I'm posting this stuff.

First up, the Bottle cap tripod.  I know this wouldn't be useful for people with those ginormous SLR cameras, but I figure if you're willing to lug that kind of thing around, you can use a regular tripod.  For the rest of us, who just need a quick fix, we can shove this in our pocket.  Or on our reused water bottle.

(Source here and here)

Think that's clever?  Take a look at this paper furniture:



Molo Design makes them.  I think several groups are making similar things.  They have magnets on the ends and are made to be durable (and very recyclable when you're done with them in a few years), and they have these serpentine benches you can place however you want:

(Source here)

Well, thanks for thinking green today.  Don't forget to reuse this post by recommending it as many friends as possible ;)

Thanks to Heather T. for inspiring us today

Don't touch me there.

Seriously.

(Source here)

Fun Friday: Food 'n Games

It's Fun Friday today on WhatWeirdos, when we feature things that are not only weird and funny but totally and completely awesome.  Downright dynamite.  Today's theme:  Food 'n Games.

"Welcome, welcome, come in."

(Source Here)

(yes, that's "welcome" in binary)

"Have a seat.  The hamburgers will be off the grill in a moment."

(Source here)

"Wasn't that yummy?  Lip smackin' good.  Well, on to dessert."

(Source here)

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry!  I didn't realize you don't like ice cream." (I had a roommate in college who just didn't like ice cream.  Freak.)

"Perhaps you'd enjoy a cupcake then?"

(Source here)

"Let's play some games now. How about rubik's cube?  My husband can actually finish one.  Not as fast as some friends of ours, but still.  How about them apples."

(Source here)

"How about Trivial Pursuit?  No?  No one ever wants to play that with me.  Fine.  Pillow Fight!"

(Source here)

"Well, thanks for stopping by.  Come again!"