My husband says I have to post this

Hannah W. sent this to me.  So you can blame her.  Or you can blame Tim, my husband, because after I went to the website and saw the detailed instructions (beware--the model is wearing speedos) on how to put on this item of clothing, I hesitated.  I drew back, but I couldn't look away.  The instructions were completely accurate about how to put on a pair of pantyhose.  Except they aren't pantyhose.  They're mantyhose.

(source here)

This image is from a men's magazine: e-mancipate.net: Hosiery Fashion Magazine For Men.  They're "military green".  Yep.  I can totally picture it.

Never thought I'd picture this though:

(source here)

What do YOU think the models were thinking?

Happy Fourth of July

I received a lot of great responses to my shout-out for help gathering Independence Day stuff.  First off, I thought you'd enjoy these lovely Fourth of July posters.  Each of these jewels has something special to say about what makes our country great.  I will translate the sentiment for you beneath each poster (yes, a few of them are from other holidays, but the designers thought their country of origin would be important, so I'm gonna honor that).

(source here)

"America:  where you will go to jail if you do this to a cat, even if you try to distract the police with your patriotism."

(source here)

"I was supposed to be the national bird, not that stupid bald vulture.  To eat me would be downright unamerican."

(source here)

"Hawaii is part of America."

(source here)

"The flag is on fire!  And Uncle Sam is prancing!  What kind of a poster is this?!"

(source here)

"Don't forget which country you owe your allegiance to.  Because the rest of us are a bit confused.

(source here)

"Stand by the flag.  Maybe that way no one will notice what you're standing on."

(source here)

"Happy Fourth. I hate you so much I'd like to greet you with a cannon ball."

(source here)

"Greetings.  If you don't show enough ardor for your country you will be burned alive in a patriotic cauldron."

(source here)

 "This is how Uncle Sam started that flag fire.  Beware if you're planning on inviting him to any barbecues."

(source here)

"I swear I'm a flag-waving, country-loving, bald-eagle-kissing Turkey.  Please don't eat me."

(source here)

"Maybe this will finally prove how much I love America."

(source here)

"Kiss me I'm American."

(source here)

"I, the bald eagle, am really starting to wonder whether this little boy is celebrating Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, the Fourth of July, or soliciting money on behalf of Save the Children."

Gosh, these posters make me so proud.  Happy Birthday America!

Real Handsoap

In this bag, is handsoap.

(source here)

Ha, ha, you thought I meant handsoap as in soap for your hands.  Well, I do, but I also mean something else. Look closely at that bag.  Wait.  Is that...

(same source, here)

Why, yes.  Yes it is.  Hand.  Soap.  You should always remember to wash your hands... er... I mean Your hands.  In fact, if you're having problems with all the noisy kids in your neighborhood, invite everyone over for a BBQ.  Then suggest--suggestion is key here, you don't want the parents getting suspicious--that the little ones wash their hands before they eat.  You might even volunteer to supervise, out of the goodness of your widdle heart.  When Cindy-Lou Who asks where the soap is, you give her a hand.  Bwahaha!  

Nose, this one's for you

Today, we celebrate the nose.  And all the things it can apparently do.

Noses don't just need tissue, they can provide it to.  And, this is customizable.  Who would you put on Your tissue box?

(Source here)

This next one separates the egg whites from the yolk.  And reminds you of those special times in your life when you felt like you had  faucet attached to your face.  

(Source here)

A good hot shower sure is great when you have a cold.  Now you can think of that special feeling Every time you're in the shower!

(Source here)

Moms can't even escape wiping noses when they're in the shower.

Thanks to Juli M. for sticking her nose in here ;)

Fun Friday: Food 'n Games

It's Fun Friday today on WhatWeirdos, when we feature things that are not only weird and funny but totally and completely awesome.  Downright dynamite.  Today's theme:  Food 'n Games.

"Welcome, welcome, come in."

(Source Here)

(yes, that's "welcome" in binary)

"Have a seat.  The hamburgers will be off the grill in a moment."

(Source here)

"Wasn't that yummy?  Lip smackin' good.  Well, on to dessert."

(Source here)

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry!  I didn't realize you don't like ice cream." (I had a roommate in college who just didn't like ice cream.  Freak.)

"Perhaps you'd enjoy a cupcake then?"

(Source here)

"Let's play some games now. How about rubik's cube?  My husband can actually finish one.  Not as fast as some friends of ours, but still.  How about them apples."

(Source here)

"How about Trivial Pursuit?  No?  No one ever wants to play that with me.  Fine.  Pillow Fight!"

(Source here)

"Well, thanks for stopping by.  Come again!"

Bluetooth Retro Handset

Do you miss the good 'ole days when phones were ginormous and you could really feel them in your hand?  Not only that, but people could tell when you were on the phone.  Just hook this baby up to your phone!

(Source here)

There are at least ten companies making these in different styles and colors.  No, I am not pulling your leg.  Would I ever do that to you?  Of course there's still that pesky cord.  Let's add bluetooth.  Everything's better with bluetooth right?  

(Source here)

Or not.  Picture yourself walking down the street, happily talking on the phone.  Why are people giving you such strange looks?  The sidewalk sure is clear; all those slow people who get in the way are on the other side.  Awesome.  You should totally buy this.

Thank you so much to Juli M. for helping us all look like crazy people.

It's Action Figure Day here on What Weirdos

I must admit, just between us, that when I first started this blog I was a bit concerned that I wouldn't find enough items to do a daily post.  Ha!  My cup overfloweth.  In fact, I had a different post planned for today, but... I just couldn't resist.

Are you one of those people who worry about the level of violence portrayed or encouraged by toy companies?  I have a solution.  Literary action figures!
How about Jane Austen and Edgar Allen Poe?





(Austen source here, Poe source here) 

Can you imagine playing with these two together?
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.  Hint, hint."
"For the last time, I am not marrying you! Nevermore! Nevermore!"

Not capturing your beating heart?  Want to be every kid's hero yourself but aren't a firefighter or other typically hero-esque profession?  There are action figures for you too!

Are you a painter?



(Source here)

or the Lunch Lady?



(Source here)

Okay, I think the lunch lady is my favorite.  She's got that hairnet, and the food is interchangeable, but you can't really tell what it is.  Perfect for the aspiring school lunch chef.

Doesn't it almost feel like we're singing that classic song "Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighBORHOOD, oh!..." Oh.  We forgot a very important person in the neighborhood, didn't we?  Someone you want your kids to emulate and look to as their hero.  A mentor, an example, someone who's house you've sworn never to go into again after that last fiasco we shall not speak of?  You guessed it.  I give you:  The Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure!



(Source here) 

Boo!

Okay, let's ignore whatever this Personal Infrared Sauna does, and focus on its other possibilities.



Cause I'm sure you've been looking for that perfect way to scare guests at parties.  Or just when they walk into your room unexpectedly while you're... enjoying whatever this thing does.  And your eyes happen to be closed and then...Yousuddenlyopenthem.  Bwahaha!  It's like a scene from that horrifying 1985 film Return to Oz where that Witch (Mombi?) has interchangeable heads.  Watching it as a kid I thought they were wig mannequins...UNTIL THEY OPENED THEIR EYES!  And started saying vicious things to Dorothy (here's a link to the scene on youtube for those who dare).  Yick.  I think I spent most of that movie with my eyes closed and haven't watched it since.  I hope I don't have nightmares tonight.

Okay, funnier thing it looks like, for all those devoted trekkers out there (among whom  I proudly count myself), is Captain Pike, who...well...man if you don't know this guy's full history, go to his wikipedia page, cause it's way too long for me to go into here.  Anyway, having commanded the Enterprise before James T. Kirk, he shows up in the original series episode The Menagerie looking for a cure/fix whatever you want to call it, to his situation:



See the resemblance?  How much time do you think Captain Pike needs in the Infrared Sauna before the effects of the "delta ray radiation" are cured?  Hmm?  An hour?  Maybe two?

(http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102981702&c=10615)

Let's all say Live Long and Prosper to Lisa R. for this gem.

The Fish 'n Flush

You thought this was about what to do with the bad fish you caught on that last trip didn't you? No, no, no! It's about you having some extra friends... watching you while you... ponder. Always watching. What do you suppose they're saying to each other?

"This is horrible! Get us out of here! Help! Help!"

"There are two reasons I don't like this tank:
number 1...and of course number 2."

"I hate it here, maybe if we try hard enough we can boldly go."

"We'll get them for doing this to us. What goes around comes around."

(http://www.fishnflush.com/iq_fnf/)

Don't look at me like that

So you're really glad to be rid of Bush then, eh? Are you this glad?

Whoa there, I know. A little much. So how about this then?

Alright! Alright! I know! Fine!

Can we at least agree on who the real enemy is then?

At least now we know the real reason why he's been hiding.

(http://www.theoriginalbowlbuddy.com/index.html)

Thanks to Juli for helping us keep our houses cleaner.

Ever wonder what the model is thinking?

I'm so glad my agent finally got me another photoshoot. The well's been a little dry lately, which is weird cause I'm totally beautiful.

My hair looks awesome, perfect makeup. I always look so good! This is going to be great!

I'm totally going to get noticed this time.

Bare shoulders? Is this a shower scene? Cause my agent didn't mention that and I'm not so sure I....

Oh my gosh! Is this a bee keeper's hood? ARE THERE GOING TO BE BEES WITH ME IN THE SHOWER?! AAHHH!

"Ok, now, think about how you're going to spend the money!"

*click*

[Ok, the true purpose of the Protector Hood, in case you were wondering, is to protect your clothes from being stained with makeup when you put them on. Don't ask my why you don't just put your clothes on first. I'm a simple gal.]

(http://www.amazon.com/Betty-Dain-Headwear-Protector-Assorted/dp/B00103F5XS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=beauty&qid=1273930974&sr=1-1)

Hot cup of Baby anyone?

Just look closely at the baby's face. Even HE knows there's something not quite right about the "Two Step Stool with Cup." Would you like some tea with your baby? Just don't press the 'blend' button.

(http://www.babybsafe.co.uk/epages/Store3_Shop2125.sf/en_GB/?ObjectPath=/Shops/Store3.Shop2125/Products/CN101)