Trimming Soap

Oh. My. Gosh. Look at this soap:

(source here)

Yeah.  Looks totally insipid (i.e. dull, uninteresting.  I can't believe I am looking up words in a thesaurus after midnight.  Someone please stop me).  

Here's Dr James Slimming Soap's description: 

"Dr James Slimming Soap reduce cellulite of skin, burning fatty acid,  firming, smoother and more perfect body Increase the metabolic rate and blood circulation, remove cellulite effectively and easily,developing sleeker skin and firming Body."

Ha!  That's the reason I've been gaining weight!  It's not that I've been snarfing cake, it's that I've been using the wrong soap!  Dove, you have failed me.