Hail to the Table

Sing it with me:

Hail to the Chief, he's the one we put on tables.
No, he's not a waiter, but President in Chief
And he's on a table that looks to be made of Maple
Our remotes have a place now, which brings great relief!

(sung to the tune of "Hail to the Chief".  If you can't remember the melody it goes: dun dun dun DUN dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.  I like to be helpful when I can)

(source here)

The P.R. people for this table say that it has "history making appeal".  Not that it is commemorating history, no, no, no.  The image of our dear President is so powerful that it will make history right there in your living room!  What should you put on top of it?  Your collection of yodelling pickles?  History making indeed.

Hail to Lisa R. for helping us be commemorative 'n stuff.